what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
i hate when people say “you’ve barely touched your food” like what do you want me to do stroke it
||Everyone’s fucked up. You’ve just gotta decide what kinda fucked up you’re into.||
carpe diem - seize the day
carpe noctem - seize the night
carpe natem - seize the ass
Seriously, if you guys don’t stop reblogging this I am going to carpe someone’s neck and break it.
carpe collum - seize the neck
Ok so it’s 3 months until the yogscast Christmas Livestreams! Is anyone else starting to get excited or is it just me?
Cards Against Humanity.
I’m a big fan. Well, I bought this.
It’s great. It hold all of my shit. But it holds something else too.
If you have it, open your box.
You see how I started to tear away at the top of the box there?
Do it carefully.
There’s something in there. What could that be?
There’s a card.
There is a card literally hidden in the top of the box.
But what card?
I fucking love these people.
Apparently it’s not socially acceptable for a man to invite another man out just for coffee or to go out for a meal, in case it’s perceived as a date. Like it’s fine if you wanna go to the pub and drink beer and have a chat but make it non-alcoholic and suddenly you’re not straight anymore? You can go to the cinema together but ONLY if it’s an action movie. You guys can’t even just go shopping with each other. Oh masculinity, so fragile, so strange.